Mom to Mom by Morgan Elisa;

Author:Morgan, Elisa;
Language: eng
Format: epub
ISBN: 5890253
Publisher: RosettaBooks
Published: 1996-08-15T00:00:00+00:00

CONFIDENCE BUILDERS

Think back over the past week or so. What did you do right?

How does it bring you confidence in your mothering to keep a tally of your successes?

How many “loaves” do you have today? Plan to be on the watch today for ways in which you surprise even yourself with how God uses your resources to meet the needs of your child.

God matches our offering to the need of our child and the need of our child to our offering.

Chapter

EIGHT

How Do I Teach My

Child to Live Life Well?

Ethan whirled through the front door and slammed it behind him. Stomping upstairs, he raced to his room and banged the door shut. I followed and knocked gently.

“What!” came the response.

Twenty minutes later, after a heart-to-heart wrestling of information out of my eight-year-old son, I learned that Rob, up the street, had excluded Ethan from a game of street hockey, and Ethan hadn’t handled it well. He was steamed. With his face twisted up in angry lines, Ethan denied any responsibility for his part in the exchange. No matter that he, too, had lost his temper or called his friend a name.

These are challenging moments for moms. One dimension of me wanted to rise to Ethan’s defense. I considered calling Rob’s mom and insisting that Rob include my brilliantly talented son in his precious little game.

But the more saintly aspect of my soul opted to use this struggle to help Ethan learn something about himself, about his temper, and about relationships. So I worked with him on the difference between appropriately and inappropriately expressed anger, on taking responsibility for his own errors, and even on apologizing for his part in the problem. Five more minutes were given to explaining the benefits of apologies, how they build bridges instead of barriers, how when we assume appropriate responsibility, we encourage others to do the same. You know the lines.

Eventually Ethan agreed with the logic and phoned Rob, mumbling a few words into the mouthpiece and listening while Rob did the same. Progress.

The next morning, in the space of just a few minutes, Eva revealed that she hadn’t finished her homework; Ethan had dawdled extra-long over his hair-combing process; and I realized that I was supposed to be working in Ethan’s class that morning and had scheduled something else during that time slot. I felt an edginess within me spring to the surface.

When Ethan finally made it to breakfast, he was in a rotten mood. Vestiges from yesterday’s bout hung about him like a shroud. He grunted responses to my offers of breakfast choices. He rolled his eyes at my warnings. He outright disobeyed my final command to get his attitude straight.

I’d been patient. I’d empathized with his hurt feelings. I’d preached truth and righteousness and had even supervised retribution. I’d fixed him, hadn’t I? What was wrong with him now? Why didn’t he move past this spot?

Breakfast dishes were spread across the counter. Why can’t these kids learn to rinse their stuff and put

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